Dragon City Dime Bags for 1,000￥!!!

Saga City Dragonboat Festival – Sunday, August 28

When I heard that there was a Dragonboat festival in town, you had gots to believe I signed up! Here is a FAQ:
Q: Was this really a dragonboat?
A: Well, it wasn`t like the ones I`m used to - the boats had 7 ppl on each side paddling on their knees with a steersperson (my Canadian peep Mike) at the back and a drummer up front (umm, that would be me).
Q: Did you have any practices?
A: Nope. We did a run through 30 minutes before the race. Explanations included “Now this is your paddle. This is how you hold the paddle. This is how you paddle. Dame! Dame! Not like that, like this.” And so forth. That`s right, I was on a boat full of people who did not know how to paddle. Oh shitake.
Q: Who was the coach?
A: Umm, that would also be me.
Q: How long was the course?
A: 250 metres each way – that`s right, we had to turn around!
Q: How did you finish?
A: We won 2 out of 3 races and finished in the top 10 out of 50 teams, bitches!! Awww yeah! The Gaijin`s REPRESENT!
Q: Did you win anything?

A: Hells yes – 8 bottles of sake, 8 bottles of whisky, and a massive bag of rice!! My ichiban number one super prize was the rice – I can feed all of the Gaijin`s in Saga for a month! I`ll sell dime bags of it and make a fortune on the JET black market!

Your mother was a sheperdess...

Nanayama Waterfall Climb - Sunday, August 21

I was told that this waterfall climb would be easy, so when I signed up, I was all “Pfft! Whatever – I`m all over this beeatch!” Silly Rabbit.

Nanayama is in the Saga Prefecture, about 1 hour from Saga City – gorgeous countryside and rolling green hills and a plethora of waterfalls to choose from!

Made my way with hundreds of other waterfall enthusiasts in the rain, which started off easily enough – yikes, that rock was slippery, ouch, that rock severely damaged my chin, and so on for about an hour before I came face to face with the craziest mo-fo waterfalls and rapids I have yet to see. I`m sorry, I must have not read that Kanji properly, I`m supposed to climb up that?!?

Apparently Japanese children under age of 15 are half-human, half-mountain goat – demonstrated by how fast they jumped from slimy rock to slimy rock with apparent ease in their little two-toe shoes, which I have since referred to as “the camel toes”.

At some points we had to break out the Baywatch and swim our asses off against the current to grab onto a slippery rock that would eventually guide us to other slippery rocks that we had to climb up – there was more than one instance of holy shit I`m going to die or at the very least shatter my bones against something big and sharp and unfriendly, but luckily I made it all the way to the end of the grueling 4 hour course in one piece, minus about 30 bruises on my arms and legs!

Oh, and for those of you who didn`t get the Spinal Tap reference in the title, it`s been ripped from the song "Goat Boy", circa 1996.

We have a heartbeat!

Shiota-cho festival – Tuesday, August 16

Mitsutake-san lent me a yukatta (summer kimono) to dance in the town festival. It took 2 women to get to oobi wrapped around me 10 times and the bow at the back just perfect. When I showed up to meet my neighbourhood, everyone attacked me, clapping their hands together and saying “Kawaii! Kawaii!”

They pulled me towards the front of the line alongside the kencho (aka godfather of my neighbourhood), and I was so scared that I was going to mess up!

The dancing wasn`t the roughest part of the night – it was the heat!! And trust me when I say that there was no room in that yukatta for air to get to! We danced for 90 minutes over and over to these traditional Japanese songs while the local television and newspapers took photos of the white girl in a yukatta!

After all of the dancing, we had a great fireworks display with some yakitori and ichiban number 1 Asahi super dry to wash it down– I don`t know how to put this, but Ottawa should bow down to the fireworks that these people put on! It went on for 45 minutes and we were so close to them that my ears were ringing long after they ended.
Beginning to feel like I can call Shiota my home.

Travel Blog

Nagasaki – August 9, 2005

60th Anniversary of the A-Bomb attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It was intense. Went to the peace park along with tens of thousands to partake in the ceremonies, made paper cranes, went to the a-bomb museum and then walked through the streets of Nagasaki to see the rows of Shrines that somehow were left unscathed after 400 years.

Fukuoka – August 13-14, 2005

Shopping
Shopping in Fukuoka is ridiculous! J-girl trend categories are as follows - 1) Hip-hop chic: Attention all J-girls! Break out your fat pants and baseball caps! 2) Rasta chic: Strange phenomenon where Japanese youth are addicted to reggae and anything related to Bob Marley. 3) Slut chic: It took 2 hours to look like that?? 4) Hippy chic: also happening back home, so I`m not too surprised that Birkenstocks are flocking the streets of Fukuoka. 5) Baby-doll chic: Flirty tops that are best worn by individuals who are, shall we say, not-so-“blessed”, so I can`t really wear them! I tend to avoid the first three for obvious reasons, but have recently purchased some gorgeous tops along with a hat and bag to match – shoes are a little more challenging since most have stiletto heels and have been attacked by a bedazzler gun!
Eating
Met up with some friends for dinner in a dungeon. Walked down a dark staircase and through a haunted house to enter the restaurant, where a smiling hostess greeted us, her fangs sticking out slightly. Cooked our own dinner and had many drinks before the lights were abruptly shut off and sirens blew as guys dressed up as monsters ran from cell to cell scaring the patrons – okay, so I screamed really loudly, but so would you if a furry paw grabbed at your leg from under the table!!!
Sleeping
Slept in a capsule hotel/spa!!! Not recommended for claustrophobics. Amazing facilities, and I surprisingly got a great sleep, but then again, the Ichiban number 1 Asahi Super Dry could have helped me along.

K stands for…

Shiota-cho – Thursday, August 4
…Karate…Inasa Sensei invited me for some delicious sashimi and beeru followed by wiskii and karaoke at this delightful bar in Takeo (next town over). When the barmaid decided to bust out the shoju, broken Japanese ensued, and before I knew it, I was signed up for free Karate lessons at the Inasa Dojo starting in September! For the purpose of this blog, I have decided to omit any reference to the Karate Kid. For now.
…K-car…OK, so I`ll admit that it`s a tad ghetto, so I`ve got it J-pimped out with Hello Kitty paraphenalia (not a lot mind you, just enough to give it some flava – I loves me kitty) and little blinking lights for those disco moments when I feel the need to freak out. It`s hot.
…Kockroach…What? I can spell it like that if I want to! I think that Crunchy (that`s the sound he made) made a friend in the solace of my massive bathroom. I`m not running in love cockroach hotel, dammit! Besides, I can only handle one pet cockroach at a time, so he and his bitch had to be eliminated. Peace out, Crunchy. Maybe Gecko will keep his posse out by the window where they belong.

I saw myself on the terebi last night…

Shiota-cho – Wednesday, July 27
Left Tokyo at 7:00 am and arrived in Saga City 105 minutes later. Walked out of the airport with 30 other Saga JETs into the most humid weather I have yet to experience. Met my supervisor, Nakashima-san, and my Japanese assistant, Akemi-san, who then transported me past a sea of rice paddies to Shiota-town where I was forced to endure 6 gruelling hours of formal introductions before I was finally brought to my house. The house is a massive, Japanese-style, 2-story, 12-room building – and it`s all mine for a measly 25,500\/month! I think it`s haunted…at least that`s what my pet cockroach told me…
Inasa Shrine, Outside Kashima City – Saturday, July 30
Arrived at Inasa Dojo with Mitsutake-san in time for meditation with about 40 children under 12 years of age. Not exactly Camp Woosley back in my days as a girl guide, but close. Had bento lunch with Inasa Sensei who informed me that I would be teaching my first English lesson that very afternoon. Was I prepared you ask? Hells no!
True to form, I flew by the seat of my skirt, teaching them basic introduction skills and the classic children`s tune, Head and Shoulders. After the lesson was adjourned, we set outdoors for 40 minutes of intense meditation in half-lotus pose. Thank Ganesh that my yoga practice has taught my legs to bend in such a fashion! To shake things up a little, the kids had a water balloon fight, followed by a well-deserved nap, then ended the day by cooking some traditional fish and veggies over the campfire
Shiota-cho, Monday, August 1
Apparently the local newspaper and prefectural television crew decided to incorporate my recent antics at the Dojo into their headlines. That`s right pimps and bitches, after only 5 days of living in Shiota, I made it into the newspaper AND the evening news! I`m not entirely surprised considering every time I walk outside I sprout an additional head, thereby causing all who stare in my direction to shriek with terror. Have decided to accept fate as ji-en ba-rji-ron. Sounds nasty, but apparently my name means love and charity…who knew?

Sayanora Ottawa!!

Somewhere over the Pacific – Sunday, July 24
The hardest part was getting on the plane – my inner monologue was playing tennis with the idea to locate the nearest exit in the Ottawa Airport, but somehow I convinced myself to walk through the gates albeit with great hesitation. The days and weeks leading up to this one moment were all preparation for the ups and downs that were sure to follow – if I could live through this, Japan should be easy, right?
I`d like to give a shout out to my homegirls who got up at the ass-crack of dawn to see me off!
Tokyo – Keio Plaza Hotel – Monday, July 25
Mental Note: Should have listened to mom when she told me to pack some clothes and toiletries in my carry-on!
So Detroit decided to hold my luggage hostage until tomorrow night – fuckers! Too tired to care and have decided that navy blue flipity-flops are perfectly respectable footwear for Orientation Workshops.
Tokyo – Keio Plaza Hotel – Tuesday, July 26
Hazaa! Have been reunited with my trusty black Samsonites! Now wondering if I packed too many shoes?Is it really possible that less-than-average guys can discover new self-confidence simply by being in Japan? Have been approached several times by undesirables who assume that a brief conversation about William Faulkner = an open invitation to my hotel room. I think I heard about this phenomenon in my pre-departure sessions at the Embassy?